Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Tell the Truth Tuesday

  • Suzie Townsend linked to this blog recently and I've been forced to conclude that I almost always find it hilarious when people randomly say stuff in French. Laura and I used to have this bit where we would talk jibberish French to each other at inappropriate times. We laughed so hard we cried and then my mom made us leave church. Classy.
  • If I could live off of Dairy Queen twist ice cream cones with crunch coat, I would. I've learned crunch coat is regional--add that to the list of reasons why Cleveland doesn't suck. It may or may not be deep fried peanuts, but it's delicious.
  • I've come to the realization that my relationship with my 5-year-old son is eerily similar to my relationship with my college boyfriend. I'm humiliated in public when it becomes glaringly obvious that I have little-to-no-control over him, 99% of his jokes revolve around poop or other bodily functions, and I keep catching him with his hands down his pants. 
  • After my writhing daughter nailed me in the boob while changing her diaper, I seriously considered potty training. But then I remembered that with potty training comes public restrooms, inopportune accidents and incessant reminders. I'll just wear a padded bra for a few more months.
  • I'm preparing to give a speech at my best friend's wedding in three weekends and I already feel like I'm going to throw up. This does not bode well for the actual night.
  • I'm dying to finish the book I'm reading, but I left it in my car and it's raining. I like to pretend that I'm not going out to get it because I want to finish it on the elliptical tomorrow, but the truth is I'm just lazy.
  • When other people make jokes at the expense of one of my sisters, I sort of want to strangle them. Or at least send them a nasty e-mail.
  • I'm so tired my eyes feel like they're bleeding, but I really want to finish my chapter so I don't have to write during Glee or Lost tonight.
What's your truth this Tuesday?

46 comments:

Matthew Rush said...

700 Followers, all right!

salarsenッ said...

OMGosh, I did they in church with my brother and best friend. So Naughty.

And crunch cones...Yeah!!

My confession: cherry dipped. And when I was in the choir (I'm a former Catholic School brat), a few of us would throw spit balls down on the people during Mass. (I can't believe I just admitted that. We got in major trouble.)

Stella (Ex Libris) said...

Yay, congrats on 700 followers! *throws around virtiual confetti* - so you don't have to clean iot up later ;-) )

I'm so with you on not wanting to go out in the rain to retrieve your book! I had the smae dilemma yesterday, only I left a pair of socks in the car. Left them tehre, will wear other socks ;-p

I'm also on the same page with you regarding sister solidarity: I can pick on my sisters, but noone else should say anything about them! I'm rooting for you to send them those mean e-mails, they should know better!

This weekend there was a mini hurricane outside: rain and wind of 100-120 km/hour, and 10 Celsius, I didn't want to go out so told the white lie that I had cramps to one of my friend so I wouldn't have to go in the city meet her..

My boss thinks I'm typing up an official e-mail while in reality I'm commenting on blogs ;-)

Natalie Aguirre said...

My confession: I'm not feeling too inspired to write so am surfing my blogs instead.

Christine Danek said...

Holy cow! 700 you go gals.
My truth (which seems to always revolve around my kids)
-I wish my son would leave me alone so I could type with two hands.
-You know I'm desperate for chocolate when I eat chocolate cheerios straight from the box and say mmmmm with just as much enthusiasm as if I were eating the real deal.
You guys are hilarious. You make me smile.

Bethany Elizabeth said...

Truthfully...
I found out that whenever I go on vacation I worry incessantly about my cat. This is a problem, because next year I'm going to uni, and my cat won't be there. :(

I'm also shamelessly in love with gelato.

I feel like my practice query letter is cheesy in every sense of the word. (Is it a bad idea to send a piece of complimentary gorgonzola through the mail?)
Those're my truths. :D
(And I love Dairy Queen, no matter what region it's in! :P)

Alissa said...

Crunch coat? Never heard of it. I'm guessing that's not like the traditional "dip" coating. They used to have an ambiguous fruit flavored red dip coating that was very good. Maybe they still have it. It's been awhile since I have been to Dairy Queen.

Jen said...

I'm huge fan of Dairy Queen's ice cream cones!!!

And your realization regaring your 5 year old son and college boyfriend had me laughing with tears rolling down my cheeks!!! Hilarious!

slhastings said...

I have to speak in french. Truth be told, half the time it sounds like jibberish.

Hardygirl said...

I'm in a state of panic because in three short days, school will be OUT for the summer. Yes. We'll all be together 24/7.

Help.

sf

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Yay, only 300 to go to get to your goal of 1000 followers. Way to go!

This is the funniest Truthful Tuesday yet.

Don't worry about your relationship with your 5 yo. It won't change. My soon-to-be 8 yo still does all that stuff. I hope his future girlfriends don't blame me for his childish behavior.


And yay for padded bras. :)

Deb said...

Oh my...finally finished reading this. Why finally? I just about laughed my laptop off my, er, lap when I read the son, bf comparison-I'd get it together, start laughing all over again.

Candyland said...

I can relate to the boob-kicking and 5yo relationship/boyfriend reference...sheesh...

My truth: I'm having a really hard time with writing. I'm kind of mad at it.

Jonathon Arntson said...

Wow, that was a lot of truths! I may have to adopt this Tell the Truth Tuesday thing, but only if I can be half as funny as you!

storyqueen said...

Glee and Lost are the only things making this Tuesday somewhat survivable.

True dat.

(Sorry...it's so early my brain is like jello...I even just spelled jello with a w on the end like this: jellow.) Wha???

shelley

Corey Schwartz said...

Ah, five year old boys! Mine cried for an hour yesterday because I would only let him have two licorice sticks (he wanted all four) And then after kicking, pinching, and hitting me, he handed the two back and said, "Here, I decided to save them."

April (BooksandWine) said...

The one about your sisters, me too. Mess with my family and I will want to mess with you.

Falen said...

oh god. Crunch Cones are THE BEST THING EVER!
There's never enough crunch though.
Also i've never tried to read while on the eliptical. I may have to at some point

Christina Lee said...

Oh crunch coat--how I love thee!

Kristin said...

I save my best reading for the elliptical. Keeps me going at least another ten minutes and *ahem* if we had the crunch coat here, I'd really need the cardio!

Kristi Helvig said...

You learn something new every day - I've never heard of crunch coat before! Congrats on 700 followers - you rock!

B.E. Sanderson said...

It's my 40th birthday. I think that's enough truth for one day. LOL

Dara said...

I am not looking forward to this Sunday and having to see my skeezy brother-in-law--the one who cheated on my sis-in-law just after they married. Yeah, that won't be awkward at all. And of course I have to be on my best behavior--I cannot vent about this on Facebook or Twitter because my sis-in-law follows me and reads my blog...so yeah. It's nice to be free to vent here :)

Anyway...Cleveland does have some redeeming qualities. The zoo, the wonderful Malley's Chocolates and some pretty amazing restaurants. Also, more things to do than Dayton...

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Look at that big 700 over there on the sidebar - woo-hoo! :-)

I am overloaded with things that must be done. I'm trying to get packed so we can FINALLY move into our new house next Friday, teach school to a bunch of stir-crazy high schoolers ready for summer, keep up with my son's baseball schedule, finish my last re-writes, and blog. Argh! :-)

Indigo said...

My confession? Why is it guys are allowed the whiny gene when they get sick and the day after I get the same sucky cold. Add to insult, I still get to do everything and don't get the same break...Ugh.

I totally laughed about, the 5 year olds mentality reference in comparison to the college boyfriend. (Hugs)Indigo

Loretta Nyhan said...

Um, I'm on my sixth square of Dove dark and I don't intend to stop...

Loretta Nyhan said...

Um, I'm on my sixth square of Dove dark and I don't intend to stop...

Tahereh said...

hahahahahaha

I LOVE YOUUU

<33333333

Loretta Nyhan said...

And apparently blogger needed to double my humiliation by posting my gluttony comment twice.

Shannon Whitney Messenger said...

SQUEE-you hit 700! 300 more to go before we get our LiLa shame! *loves deals with the universe* *when they aren't mine*

Um...truths: I'm going to an author event today and I feel horrible because I've never read her books. *whispers* I've actually never heard of her. And she's won a freaking Newbery. Major #Shannonfail

Carolyn V. said...

Mmmmm. Ice cream cones... I've gotta cut down on the sugar. There, that's my truth (but they are so super good!)

Marsha Sigman said...

My Truths

1) Your five year old and college boyfriend both sound like my husband. I think men revert as they get older...just a warning.

2) When I ground my son I feel I am being punished far worse than he is.

3) Where the hell can I find that crunch coat. I needs me some NOW.

Scott Tracey said...

I suppose there ARE benefits to living in Cleveland.

My truth: I cannot shake my smittenness with The Pretty Reckless. Taylor Momsen is ridiculously annoying, but I love their music. Sigh. :(

And smittenness is too a word.

Slamdunk said...

"I'm humiliated in public when it becomes glaringly obvious that I have little-to-no-control over him, 99% of his jokes revolve around poop or other bodily functions, and I keep catching him with his hands down his pants."

Our youngest boy is like that. His older brother does his best to turn invisible in public.

Lisa_Gibson said...

Okay, I laughed out loud and for quite some time over the relationship with your 5 yo resembling that of your college boyfriend. Sooo perfect!

My Tues. truth - I love the book I'm reading right now soooo much, that I'm considering reading at my desk instead of - well instead of reading blogs I guess. :)

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

Heehee, little kids are funny AND terrifying. My goddaughter went to give me a hug but headbutted me and made my lip bleed.

My tuesday truth - I'm tired but dosing up on caffine to keep me awake. If it wasn't for the 2 bottles of diet coke I've drunk today I'd be asleep now. :)

Lori W. said...

Crunch coat sounds yum. We don't even have a DQ (or a Target!), so count yourself blessed.

Tuesday truth: Starship Troopers is on Hulu. I'm being sucked into watching epic bug battles vs. working. Lazy, lazy day.

jdcoughlin said...

My son went through that same stage, and I have to admit, I encouraged it. I loved it! I got to say all those things right back at him and he thought I was the coolest mom ever. And I was, until I was in church one day and he admonished me, loudly, for using the F-word. That's right. I said fart.

MBW aka Olleymae said...

I used to work at DQ in highschool and I hated it when people ordered crunch coated cones. SO MESSY!!

Other than that, your truths are pretty darn hilarious.

Jemi Fraser said...

Gotta love those 5 year old boys! Nothing quite like them :) They do grow out of it -- mostly -- and it only takes 5 or 6 years.

twaddleoranything said...

My truth: I am rapidly becoming addicted to your blog! Seriously, thanks for making writerly insights so gosh darn entertaining. I hope you get to enjoy Glee in peace! It's my favorite thing about Tuesdays.

Have you seen the Flight of the Conchords take on French vocabulary? Pretty amusing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5hrUGFhsXo

Elana Johnson said...

I'm super lazy too.

My truth today? I've been on the verge of tears for hours. I just need to breakdown already.

Gail said...

The truth is 55+ y.o. men are just like the 5 y'o'....just taller

jessjordan said...

My truth: I've never heard of crunch coat, and I'm kinda pissed about it. I mean, why in the world does my DQ only offer that weird, magic shell stuff??

If I could live off of their Brownie Batter blizzards (seasonal and I haven't seen them in awhile), I SO would. Except I'd be the size of 17 houses, so probably not a good idea.

PJ Hoover said...

Hard question to think about!

(and I don't believe Elana J is lazy. Not possible.)

NotNessie said...

Perhaps a Madonna-style cone bra?